my girl love me more then i love myself like what the hell sometimes it feels like life would be easier locked in that cell my life's more then just the money and the wealth I'm just tryna keep my health i feel it slipping it got me trippin and I've been drifting fading off into the distance but I'm wishing that i could get it together so don't get it twisted my girl think that I'm bull-shitting then again I've never given her a reason to believe it could be different cause I'm struggling to make it through the day its no secret this aint no game believe me when i say that life is deceiving can i overcome my environment if its stronger then me on the verge of loosing it and i don't think you understand the state of my mentality transitioning from boy to man a kid raising my kids I'm doing the best that i can i got no job plus these bills keep piling up so I'm trying to find a way to rise above these times to come tired of seeing my baby mama cry because these times are rough times are tight and her 9 to 5 aint giving enough and i know sometimes i act like i don't give a fuck can't get past the fact that my past has come back once again and nipped me in the but my demons aint letting me sleep I'm just trying to keep on my feet and defeat the beast within me you know what i mean the man in the mirror the hardest to beat thats my goal i know its the farthest to reach cuz I'm in over my head and i get it don't trip ya I'm far beyond steady but don't sweat it i won't slip i've been through what most men could never handle and thats the truth i don't care who believes it whether its him or whether its you you'd think i've been drinking whiskey from the fountain of youth cause i've been actin a fool since my adolescence and thats the truth its no joke when you realize the law is after you suspended sentence ya they want to throw me back up in the coup where men who try to cover rent fill up the general population I'm just saying most us criminals just tryna make it i aint even tryna fake it I've made mistakes and I've faced it and paid dearly so don't cross me with that fake shit or get a facelift i aint playing take it how you wanna take it man I'm higher then a spaceship with these words that i be saying i don't care if anybody understands its nothing I'm use to being all alone in no mans land i never had no upper hand no wads up in them rubber bands i been stuck in the gutters so fuck it this aint no wonderland and thats the way that its got to go not many options so I'm steady puffing on optimos call me irresponsible cause I've done heard it before ya its psychological I've lost the battle but ill win the war its just a matter of time before they come and kick in the door but I'm ready for whatever i don't care anymore

I'm the definition of a fuck up but I'm better then that just trying to cope with all my mistakes that i made in the past cause they always seem to bite me in the ass so I'm always on my guard cause the system wanna send me back catch a violation do a little less then a year catch another offense and I'm facing 3 years hard to keep my mind clear when the devil in my ear tryna interfere wit my life and strike me with fear what the hell do you expect me to do tryna stay straight but the streets are also calling me too i got out the jungle but the jungle never got out of me can't help it its part of my anatomy thats how life in northern cali be take the wrong turn and your life could end tragically take a moment just to understand my mentality hard to cope when you on the brink of insanity I'm struggling to do right stare into the blue skies wondering where the truth lies stare into the moonlight convicted two times gotta get it together ya its now or never i could throw it all away and i almost did on multiple occasions risked everything and didn't win hurt my baby momma she want me to be there for the kids but I'm slipping admitting the fact that I'm sick no matter how hard I'm kicking i keep slipping in a awkward position following my intuition my state of condition nothing short of demolition on a one way ticket to prison ya i never was one to follow school curriculum all that bullshit talking ya i keep it to a minimum anyone want a piece of spinladin i give um some break um off a piece and chew um up like they some bubble gum I've come to terms that it is what it is I'm from the bay where they won't hesitate to merk your kid 10-2 with a shocker now we ready to handle biz call it the reason for everything i ever did i aint a bad man just a homie caught up in the mix a product of my environment ya read my lips to many people flipping the scripts i aint one for the tricks thats what makes me tick and how you end up in a ditch if i never make the wall of fame its better then having a number instead of a name and in the end I'm the only one that i can blame learned at a young age that this is far from a game