my girl love me more then i love myself like what the hell
sometimes it feels like life would be easier locked in that cell
my life's more then just the money and the wealth
I'm just tryna keep my health i feel it slipping it got me trippin
and I've been drifting fading off into the distance but I'm wishing
that i could get it together so don't get it twisted
my girl think that I'm bull-shitting then again I've never given
her a reason to believe it could be different
cause I'm struggling to make it through the day its no secret
this aint no game believe me when i say that life is deceiving
can i overcome my environment if its stronger then me
on the verge of loosing it and i don't think you understand
the state of my mentality transitioning from boy to man
a kid raising my kids I'm doing the best that i can
i got no job plus these bills keep piling up
so I'm trying to find a way to rise above these times to come
tired of seeing my baby mama cry because these times are rough
times are tight and her 9 to 5 aint giving enough
and i know sometimes i act like i don't give a fuck
can't get past the fact that my past has come back once again and nipped me in the but
my demons aint letting me sleep
I'm just trying to keep on my feet and defeat the beast within me
you know what i mean the man in the mirror the hardest to beat
thats my goal i know its the farthest to reach cuz
I'm in over my head and i get it don't trip
ya I'm far beyond steady but don't sweat it i won't slip
i've been through what most men could never handle and thats the truth
i don't care who believes it whether its him or whether its you
you'd think i've been drinking whiskey from the fountain of youth
cause i've been actin a fool since my adolescence and thats the truth
its no joke when you realize the law is after you
suspended sentence ya they want to throw me back up in the coup
where men who try to cover rent fill up the general population
I'm just saying most us criminals just tryna make it
i aint even tryna fake it I've made mistakes and I've faced it
and paid dearly so don't cross me with that fake shit
or get a facelift i aint playing take it how you wanna take it
man I'm higher then a spaceship with these words that i be saying
i don't care if anybody understands
its nothing I'm use to being all alone in no mans land
i never had no upper hand no wads up in them rubber bands
i been stuck in the gutters so fuck it this aint no wonderland
and thats the way that its got to go
not many options so I'm steady puffing on optimos
call me irresponsible cause I've done heard it before
ya its psychological I've lost the battle but ill win the war
its just a matter of time before they come and kick in the door
but I'm ready for whatever i don't care anymore